Carrie’s journey to healthy parenting

Emmory Shipley, Communications Coordinator

After she was arrested for smoking marijuana in public in front of her daughter, Carrie^* was required by her probation officer to take a parenting class, leading her to our Parents Acquiring Skills and Strengths (PASS) Program.

When Carrie started PASS, she shared with the group that she had been removed from her mother’s home at three years old and was placed in foster care with her older sister, Alice^*. Once they moved into foster care, their situation only became worse due to multiple abusive foster parents. During that time, Alice stepped into the role of parenting Carrie by washing, dressing, disciplining, and cooking for her. As they became preteens, Carrie’s father chose to step up to his responsibility as a parent and got his children out of foster care. Carrie expressed that her parenting models ranged from the “parentified” behaviors of a slightly older sibling, abusive or indifferent styles of three foster parents, to sometimes overly strict or overly lax style of her father.

Carrie was eager to figure out which of the varying parenting styles she observed was the healthiest. She realized that Alice, having taken on significant parenting responsibilities as a young girl, had been robbed her of childhood experiences. Pregnant with her second child, Carrie now understood that it’s her responsibility to be in the parenting role and not to place that obligation on her kids. She identified that the harsh parenting attitudes she experienced in foster care should be replaced with nurturing attitudes that build children’s confidence. She also reconciled that her father’s inconsistent parenting likely stemmed from his lack of understanding his daughters’ needs.

As her PASS classes came to an end, Carrie expressed her gratitude for the program and wished her mother, father, and foster parents had taken the classes before becoming parents. She shared that the program gave her a new perspective on being a mother and now she plans to make healthier choices for her family!

We’re proud of Carrie’s growth and for all the parents striving to make a difference for their children. If you’re interested in participating in our PASS program, click here.

 

*Names changed for privacy.